One thing about having a kid of your own is you think a lot about when you were a kid, and another thing is you’re often too tired to think straight. The other day I said I need to do a quick load of wash… there are two problems with that; 1) I don’t have a washing machine at my house, and 2) I was holding a vacuum.
Today I not only decided that I need a hobby, I realized I have bins of crap I haven’t looked at in three years. So I pulled it all out, and piece by piece I’m combing through it. I have all my math notes since grade 8, my kindergarten ‘grad hat’ (of paper construction), a bin of mostly coloured scrapbooking paper and ribbon, and assorted, undated photos. But in and amongst all of this I come across varying degrees writing homework assignments.
Now I don’t mean to brag, but most of the were A’s. More than one had a written comment in red wishing I’d have presented it to the class or entered in a writing contest. I have to admit, regret site deeply that I didn’t. Writing had always been a dream of mine but my dad said it wasn’t a viable career. But in these days (high school) it didn’t matter and I had all this fluff in my writing ego that never went anywhere.
Of course, as life builds you up it also tears you down, and 4 years after high school I would receive comments on my short story so critical that I wouldn’t write even for fun again until… well present. And this criticism wasn’t even from the teacher, bur a fellow student in my creative writing class. Her words were so mean that someone else in the class cried for me. Do you understand how mean someone has to be, to make someone with no emotional connection to the words physically cry before the person they were said to. The worst part of it was many of the ‘unrealistic’ and most ôcritiqued parts actually happened to me.
Anyway I’m drifting from my point. I had a dream, I was actually decent at it, but in the years when I could enter contests, try to explore it, get advice easily… nothing amounted because I didn’t want to get shot down. In my mind because my mom said I was good without reading anything, and my dad said writing wasn’t anything, my teachers’ opinions meant nothing. I lost my chance to have even a little glory in an area I enjoyed because of other opinions. And years later in University the joy was taken out of it as my work was judged more harshly, required specific proper structure and citations.
I won’t give some broken record, car poster advice like ‘follow your dreams’ or ‘shoot for the moon you’re still among stars’ – No. But don’t let your regrets be something that you could have easily done. Something that cost nothing, affected no one, hurt no one… take advantage of the years when you have the resources to do what you want, because when you’re an adult there’s no guidance counsellor, no peer mentor program (though there should be- am I right?). I regret not getting the information and support when it was right there and it was free.
Don’t let not taking advantage of all you have be your regret, learn from me,
I’m only human
imonlyhuman 